Modern AU Drabbles
by LionessCersei
Summary: chapters: 1: Drunk teen Cersei confesses her love to Jaime 2: Jaime asks Cersei to prom 3: Cersei political AU 4: Teen Cersei steals wine 5: Tommen's Birth 6: Tommen's Birth (Happier) 7: Switching Places 8: Pregnancy Cravings 9: Memories of Casterly Rock 10: Getting Tattoos together
1. Drunk People Tell The Truth

**Drabble originally posted as in response to a prompt from an ask meme on Tumblr This site won't let me share links, unfortunately.**

"I think I'm in love with you and I'm terrified," confessed Cersei.

Jaime eyed his fourteen-year-old sister warily. Had she been snooping in his room and found his unsent love letters to her? Was she messing with him now?

She approached closer, stumbling along the way.

'She's drunk', he realized.

"Cers.."

She kissed him, a brief but passionate kiss. Afterward, Jaime remembered a saying he had once heard, "Drunk people always tell the truth."


	2. Prom

**Thank you, Guest, for reviewing the previous chapter!**

"Cersei...please will you go to prom with me?"

"We've been over this before. You know I can't. You're my brother. What would people say?"

"Well...why does that matter? People will just think neither of us have real dates."

"Our parents are cousins! People already make incest jokes about us for that! Can you imagine if we went to the prom together?"

"Well, to be fair no one would know our parents were cousins if you had done your genealogy project yourself rather then pay the nerd to do it for you!," defended Jaime.

Cersei's face turned angry, "Well, perhaps you should have done the project for me then! Baelish wouldn't have gotten such info to spread if you had!"

"I'm nearly a straight D student! I was doing you a favor by refusing to do your assignment!"


	3. Cersei Running For President

**A little bit longer of a drabble this time**

Cersei smiled at Jaime as she opened the door to greet him, "Jaime!"

He kissed her passionately as soon as the door was shut, and tried to further things, but she stopped him, "Not now. President Trump is about to announce his endorsement! I can't wait. I know he will endorse me. I'm the most qualified by far and I've done an amazing job as governor!"

Jaime sighed. "You should drop out. I don't want to move to DC!"

"You can't anyway. It would look odd, even more so considering that you never date. I've seen almost as much incest jokes about us floating around on the internet as I have of Trump and his daughter! People cannot find out about us!"

"You don't want me to always be near you?", he asked hurt.

"Of course I do. But I want to be president, Jaime. Now shhh. He's starting his speech."

Jaime remained quiet. He ignored the television as he brainstormed in his head as to how he could secretly sabotage her presidential run if need be. Hopefully, she wouldn't even make it through the primaries. However, in a country where Trump served eight years in office Jaime wasn't sure there would be much he could do to sabotage Cersei's chances.

He was snapped out of his thoughts by Cersei screaming in a rage as she threw stuff

"Cersei?"

"I cannot believe this! How could he!?

"What happened?"

"Were you not paying any attention? That big fat orange buffoon endorsed Palin!"

"Well...at least he endorsed a woman. You were so worried he would endorse Nugent as he was the only man running."

"I was worried he would endorse Nugent over me! Palin...I never thought she was even a consideration! Ugh!"

"To be fair you didn't exactly endorse Trump when he was running for office."

"That's different! He's horrible! Me though...I would make as wonderful a president as I am governor!"

'Your approval ratings and the states rising unemployment rate would beg to differ.' thought Jaime to himself. Truthfully, he was amazed Cersei had gotten reelected as governor. But when you live in a heavily Republican state and the only other Republican nominee is arrested on rape charges during the primaries that's what happens.

Out loud he asked, "Well, maybe you should drop out of the race and try again in four to eight years?"

"And let Palin win and possibly become the first woman president ever? I don't think so!"


	4. Fathers Wine Cabinet

**Thank you Right What Is Wrong for reviewing the previous chapters and reviewing a couple of my other stories as well. :)**

"Do you think father will notice?," worried Cersei.

"I hope not. He will ground us and take our phones away for months if he does!," replied Jaime.

"If he notices, we can blame Tyrion."

"Tyrion is 10!"

"So? I was not much older than that when I first snuck into father's wine cabinet."

Jaime sighed, "Well he never did notice a missing bottle then so let's just hope your luck has stayed the same."


	5. Tommen's Birth

Jaime was standing in the hospital room looking at his son. He would have felt such happiness, if only he could tell the world he was the father and marry Cersei for all the world to see she was his. Instead, she was married to a big fat boar of a man and he would have to again play the part of the distant uncle.

"Which one is yours?" asked a gruff looking redheaded man cutting through his self pitying thoughts.

'That one, that's my son.' thought Jaime to himself, but as always he could not say so out loud. To acknowledge his children would put Cersei's whole life and political career at great risk.

"That one right there is my nephew, Tommen," Jaime replied, pointing at the chubby blonde haired baby.

"Cute little fella. That one there is my daughter Brianna, she looks just like her mother. It's our first." the man replied, pointing at the pale blonde baby in the bassinet just next to Tommen.

"Third for me," replied Jaime without thinking. He quickly corrected himself, "Third time becoming an uncle I mean."

The two stood there watching their babies for a moment before Jaime spoke again, "Well, I should be getting back to his mother now. "


	6. Tommen's Birth, a bit happier

**Thank you for the review Guest! Here's a happier time from Tommen's birth for you.**

Cersei had been exhausted from her labor and had slept for hours. When she awoke, Jaime was by her side.

"Jaime! You're still here?," she remarked.

"Of course. You know I'd never leave while you're here."

"I'm glad. Tommen's labor took so much longer than the others that I thought you might have gone home."

"Nope. never. I've been here the whole time you slept. Would you like me to get you anything?"

"Some Italian take out would be nice. I'm starving and this hospital food is crap!"

"You actually ate some of it?" asked Jaime, surprised.

"I was bored and hungry. As this is the highest rated hospital in all the state, I figured maybe the food would be better than typical hospital food. They even have a menu you can choose from. All of it was crap."

"How much of it did you have?"

"I tried around a dozen or so entries and a couple of snacks. None of it worth a second bite. Some of it even looked so unappetizing that I didn't bother trying ot. I let them know I will be in contact with the owner of this hospital."

"You had them send a dozen dishes back?" asked Jaime incredulously.

"Probably more than that. Robert's insurance is paying for it all anyway, not that we couldn't afford it."

Jaime groaned silently at the mention of Robert, "Is he gonna make it back before you are discharged?"

Cersei smiled, "Doesn't seem so. Hey, wanna take a selfie with the baby and me?"

Jaime smiled, "Sure," and with that Cersei used the call button to have a nurse bring Tommen to her.

The two proud parents then proceeded to take a bunch of selfies. To everyone else these would be pictures of a man with his sister and nephew, but Cersei and Jaime would later smile at how foolish everyone was. Three beautiful, perfect golden children, all of them as Lannister as could be and no one was the wiser.


	7. Switching Places (Childhood AU)

"I can't believe father wouldn't let me get my hair cut as short as yours! It's so unfair!" complained Cersei.

"If it makes you feel any better, the haircut you got is really pretty," replied Jaime.

"It doesn't! How are we supposed to trade places any more now?!"

"I guess we had to stop eventually. I mean if we ever got caught..."

"No!"

"We don't have a choice, Cers,"

"I don't want to attend ballet! I hate it!"

It's not that bad, I mean sure karate is funner but..." replied Jaime.

"Well I won't go and nobody can make me!"

 _Two days later..._

"How was ballet?" asked Jaime.

"Horrible! And the teacher lectured me on how much I seem to have regressed! Asked me if I was feeling ill!"

Jaime hugged his sister. After a moment she pushed him away and started walking towards her desk. She picked up a pair of scissors.

"Jaime, I need you to cut my hair. Make it look just like yours," she demanded.

"I can't cut hair!"

"Why not?" Cersei asked, stomping her feet.

"Because I've never done so before!"

"Ok. Good point."

Jaime sighed relieved before Cersei spoke again, "My dolls will be good practice for you! Get started!"

 _Two hours later..._

"This is going to take days! You are horrible at this!" complained Cersei before continuing, "You'll have to practice more tomorrow."

 _Three days later..._

"Finally! You're ready to cut my hair now!"

"Finally!" replied Jaime relieved. It had been really boring practice cutting Cersei's dolls hair for hours a day.

 _Later that day..._

"Cersei! You're in big trouble!" yelled an infuriated Tywin before continuing, "And if your brother helped you with that haircut he is too!"


	8. Jaime's Phone

Jaime! I cannot believe you would do something so reckless!" exclaimed Cersei as soon as Jaime opened his door.

Jaime shut the door as he looked at his sister-lover confused, "What did I do?"

"This!" she exclaimed, holding up his phone.

"Oh! You found my phone. I'd wondered where I had left it again."

"Yes, I found it. What were you thinking?" she exclaimed, showing him the contact list.

"What do you mean?"

"This!"

"Yes. That's your contact info, sweet sister, are you feeling alright?"

"Are you really this stupid? What if someone saw?"

"Saw your contact info? Why does it matter?," replied Jaime rolling his eyes.

"You cannot have me labeled as "Sweet Sister Booty" in your phone!"

"I didn't label you as that," defended Jaime before continuing, "That must have been Bronn's idea of a joke. He added on the booty part."

"Well, that's a relief...wait...what?"

"Yeah, he was my ride home from the hospital the other day after I got food poisoning from Frey's pie shop. I left my phone in his car. Guess he decided to have a bit of fun with it."

"Ugh...so does Bronn know about us then? Let me guess Tyrion told him?"

'Uh oh,' thought Jaime. How to explain to her that when she had called the ringtone he had set for her had given it away? Perhaps Ed Shireen's latest romantic hit hadn't been the wisest choice for him to choose for her ringtone. No, he couldn't admit that, she would be pissed at him. It would be best to let Tyrion take the fall for this one he supposed, "Yeah, I guess he must have. Sorry, Cersei."


	9. Pregnancy Cravings

**Thank you Guest for commenting on the previous chapter! Sorry it's been so long since I've done another of these drabbles. I haven't forgotten my promise to do one for each review I get on one of my Cersei x Jaime stories, I'm just a lil behind!**

"Jaime! I need you to get me some Taco Bell pronto!,' texted Cersei.

Jaime looked at the text, confused. Cersei hated Taco Bell and always referred to it as Taco Smell. Perhaps Robert was using her phone again? Good thing he had decided against sending that sexy photo earlier.

About 10 minutes later, the romantic music Jaime had set for Cersei's ringtone blasted through.

"Jaime! Why didn't you text me back? Are you getting my Taco Bell?" she asked, sounding a bit annoyed.

"I'm sorry. I thought maybe Robert had your phone or something. You hate Taco Bell."

"No, I don't. I have a killer craving right now."

Jaime sighed, realizing it was pointless to argue with her. It must just be pregnancy cravings. She had them with Joffrey and Myrcella, but never for Taco Bell of all things.

"What do you want me to get?," he asked.

"A fish taco. With extra cheese and sour cream and some chili cheese fries."

"What are the menu items called exactly?" asked Jaime, not wanting this to be a repeat of other times she'd sent him on craving runs and gotten an item that wasn't exactly what she had wanted.

"How would I know? Just tell them fish tacos and chili cheese fries!"

"Fish tacos are an odd item. I'm not sure they will have that."

"Just pay extra then! Why do you have to overcomplicate everything?"

"I'll try my best."

A half hour later:

"What took so long?" Cersei asked as she unwrapped her food. "You forgot the to get extra sour cream!...and this isn't a fish taco!"

"They don't sell fish tacos."

"You could have insisted and offered a hundred or so."

"I did. They don't even sell fish to begin with so they couldn't."

"Hmph!"


	10. Getting Tattoos Together

**Thank you for the review Cherep, I actually have more stories with them where they are happy and fluffy, mainly my Christmas and Halloween Drabbles. Also, thank you to everyone who reviewed previous chapters. I need to focus on finishing my in-progress fics so this will probably be my last drabble for a while.**

"I cannot believe you talked me into getting a tattoo with you. What will I tell my fiancee?"

"Why do you care what Robert thinks? You are only marrying him to throw off suspicion of the rumors about us, aren't you?" asked Jaime suspiciously.

"That and to possibly help advance my political career."

"What political career? You being class president in junior high hardly constitutes a political career," replied Jaime, semi-amused.

"The one I hope to have one day. Don't aggravate me, Jaime. I could always get this tattoo removed."

"Alright, alright. Don't worry about the tattoo so much, it won't make anyone more suspicious than they already are. I'm sure lots of twins get similar tattoos."

"I doubt very many twins get tattoos quite like these. It's more coupley. Maybe too coupley even."

"You worry too much. Let's go back to my place and admire these new tattoos...among other things."

"Fine. But I'm won't be spending the night again. I can't risk people seeing me leaving your house in the morning!"

Indeed Cersei didn't spend the night. She snuck out on a sleeping, drooling, snoring Jaime at four am in the morning.

 **I wanted to post a picture, but FF. net doesn't allow it. This story is on a03 too though or you can check my tumblr cerseiofhouselannister to see it (this site won't let me link to either of those) Basically their tattoos are lions, cersei has a female one with a crown and Jaime a male one with a crown.**


	11. Mafia AU

**This was written for a tumblr prompt from a meme where someone requested a 3 sentence mafia AU**

"Well, I guess somebody put a hit out on Robert finally," smirked Cersei, as she and Jaime entered her living room only to be met with a most gruesome sight.

"Who would do such a thing, I wanted to kill him myself," complained Jaime.

"Actually, by somebody, I meant me. I ordered the hit myself," stated Cersei triumphantly.

 **REVIEWS ARE WELCOME! :)**


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